Like our country, this story belongs to all of us…
You’re driving down the highway one day behind a “Trump/Pence” sticker. You shake your head, wondering how does someone get there? Seriously?
It came down to the choice between the “class valedictorian” and the “class pussy-grabber.”
So, how in the world can someone feel so compelled to buy a Trump sticker and passionately smooth it over the exterior of his/her vehicle for all the world to see?!
FOR ALL THE WORLD TO SEE!
How does one even believe anything out of the mouth of that charlatan?! Trump is so clearly a LIAR! Does Trump’s bullish*t resonate so completely with their own crazy thinking? How? How? How?!
Optimistically, you think, maybe the day of awakening is not so far away — maybe, just maybe, these people are not too far from realizing the error of their ways, right?
…because you still can’t believe what happened! You still can’t believe this nightmare! How does Hillary get nearly 3 million more votes, but we end up with a “Pussy-Grabber-in-Chief”?
“The Donald’s” lack of compassion, smarts, and impulse control was truly “unpresidented” and so obvious to you. So, why not to them?! Each day, one more bit of Truth is revealed. So, you think, pretty soon they’re gonna need something to remove the proof of their complete and total delusion, their destruction of our democracy…
Their mortal sin!
And, you are right! When their brains simply cannot take one more twist to a neuron to rationalize their horrible choice, when that happens…
YOU can be there for them!
That is the genesis of the creationism of Absolution Solution™!
So, go on — Help that friend. Be there with Absolution Solution™ in your praying hands.
Give it to your uncle who swears he’s not a racist, your neighbor who thinks the Muslims down the street are terrorists in disguise, your sister who refuses to “follow politics,” or your ex-friend who reads FAKE NEWS and believes Hillary murdered somebody or surely wants babies to die!
“I could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn’t lose voters.”
Yeah, remember that? Remember when 45 declared it boldly? But, a follower’s brain can only twist so far before it snaps! And, you, my friend, in the spirit of compassion, must be ready with Absolution Solution™ today!
Absolution Solution™ does not activate until the recipient has truly reckoned with his/her sin…
Do NOT gift too soon! Or, it could be HELL for you!
As your “brother’s keeper,” enjoy bestowing your remorseful Trump voter friend, steeped in Trump regrets (“Trumpgrets”) and Trump buyer’s remorse with this perfect Trump Gag Gift!
Remember, your progressive friends could use the laugh right now. So, think of them and give them a lift!
*Blessed are the meek and generous for 15% of your purchase will be donated to the ACLU, Planned Parenthood (in Mike Pence’s name), or Common Cause.